wwwarrangeurownmarriage . com
Online project, Launched in 2008, was active till 2016
Welcome to the one-stop shop for wedding and honeymoon fantasies! Choose from an exciting range of sensuous massage oils, relaxing aromatherapy creams, naughty body paint and delicious edibles. What’s more, you may even order custom-made His and Hers Kits as well as a special Honeymoon Kit filled with items of your choice.
RECIPES FOR RED AND WHITE BUMS
Traditional
In the early 19th century, most upper-class houses or havellies had the men’s and women’s sections separated by a courtyard. The toilets used to be outside the house next to the pond, which was supposed to be hygienic. All these big houses had their own family ponds where they would bathe, wash clothes, etc…
Here the Bene (the merchants’) women used to paint their bums with Aalta (a scarlet liquid used for decorating Hindu women’s feet at auspicious events), and would wear a thin white saree for bathing.
As they bathed in the pond, they would get drenched and the thin saree would cling to their wet body.
When they came out of the water, the women’s red bum would be revealed transparently, half hidden behind the texture of the saree.
This social practice is to this day followed among some Bene wives in havellies in the north of Calcutta. This whole process involves a sense of the erogenous (i.e. especially sensitive to sexual stimulation, such as certain areas of the body).
The women expressed their boredom and unfulfilled sexuality through this practice.
Working in the household was an important aspect of the practice of attracting the male gaze. The absence of their husbands at night because of regular visits to brothels made many wives desperate enough to liaison with the men around them who were working as servants or managers in the household.
Maid servants could also be asked to do the same as the wives. This was done to attract the male members of the family so that they would remain at home at night and not visit brothels.
Thus we can see that the application of Alta on the bum serves as a significant tool for the women in these households for regulating their sexual, social as well as conjugal life.
Which reminds me of stories from Africa and also the well-known fact that monkeys with a red bum are considered the hottest. I wonder if human psychology connects back to the same root?
Contemporary:
The new trend in contemporary life is to go to the beauty parlour to beautify yourself.
Whitening of the bum has become very important in recent times.
Often women realize the importance of beautifying the bum only after getting married. The grumbling attitude of the husband compels them to visit the beauty parlour frequently.
Interestingly, in contrast to the 19th-century custom of colouring the bum, the contemporary practice is based more on a demand and supply type of model. In the old days, the husband’s absence compelled women to attract other males, whereas today women react to the husband’s demand.
In the context of Bene wives, one can see the idea of personal relationship was blurred, extending beyond the family boundary, whereas, in the contemporary context, the relationship is more or less consolidated to the married couple.
In the film/novel Saheb Bibi and Ghulam, the wife’s attempt to play the role of a prostitute failed, yet beauty parlours have enabled women to win the race.
Recipe for a red bum:
Hingul is a pigment that comes in the form of a stick which you grind into a liquid.
Alternatively, you can grind red earth colour very fine and dry it. When you want to use the colour, pour some in a bowl, add a little water and, using a small piece of cloth, paint your bum.
Nowadays, instead of red earth or pigment, you can use body paint. Instead of cloth, use a brush.
Recipe for white bum:
Bleach for one week to 10 days. Apply moisturiser every 4 hours and use good quality bleach.
If the bleach doesn’t work, try skin therapy. You need to test the upper layer of your skin. If it is scraped, the white layer underneath will become visible.
Apply moisturizer every 4 hours for the rest of your life.
I always wondered how our family who claims to be pure Brahmin and believes in marriages within their own caste, religion and language having such features. When I questioned them it was considered as rude and insult to the family. I began investigating on the purity of my blood and came across the dot com’s and various other criteria of pure marriages. Though I started my series of work as a take off from the Tv serials and the dot com’s, the concept of selling marriages and its products became the starting point, the investigation of purity and blood and the legal angle of the institution remained the focal point.
Earlier it was more of the concept of the pain of meeting and looking at each other and then trying to make your parents and relatives happy, or spending so much of money to impress each other before anything is finalized. But now you just need to go online and search and chat with the person and finalize it, and just before the marriage you meet each other and from next day is your happy day. So now you can arrange your own marriage.
The middleman is the dot com a virtual space. And the opportunity is to arrange your own marriage. Here not to worry about caste, or religion or language or country. But you can also be very specific to your caste, religion, language, state or country, without involving your parents, your aunt, uncle, cousins, grandparents, grandaunts… the package is totally for this generation and for the next generation.
But nothings changes ‘The Arrange’ remains an ‘arrange’ the person is unknown; the ultimate marriage is within the religious circle. Of course the software engineers in USA/Europe as they get lonely in the huge country and start getting nostalgic thinking of their country misses the food and tradition. And here the well educated women who are desperate to go to the divine place USA/Europe have the opportunity to go, doesn’t matter how the guy is or looks but their status and luxury is looked after. All thanks to the dot com’s which made life easier.
The Marriage law is the main feature in this project. In India we have atleast 10 marriage laws as practice. But how many of us actually know your rights. The run away marriages, the inter-caste, inter-religion, inter-language, complications are hell of a layered volient cultural complexes we deal in everyday life. The modenisation of these complex is only able to solve with bussness exchange marriages. The civil law in India is very simple and clear which no one knows or bothers, which actaully avoids many technical things like convertions, but it surely dosent solve the patriachy egos and hypocrisy.
The project was active from 2002 – 2016, presently in the form of an archive.
Collection: The Artist,
Credit: A project by Archana Hande, partially supported by Majlis fellowship programme 2006-07
Design and Development: Studio Greenand Software Design Pvt.Ltd, Text: Janhavi Acharekar, History Text: Abhijeet Tamhane, Legal consultants: Veena Gowda and Kaveri Dadhich, Photo studios: P.Muthukumaran, Amritha Digital Studio, Chennai, Nagesh, Tejas Studio, Bangalore, Friends who contributed in many other ways in this project: Shireen Gandhy, Tushar Joag, Jehangir Jani, Feruzan Mehta, Cyrus Irani, Khorshed Gandhy, B.O.Shailesh, Cheluvaraj.H.R, Ashwin Nandihalli
